How Launching a Kickstarter (Crowdfunding) Helped Me Conquer My Childhood Trauma
Using Kickstarter to Crowdfund my entire picture book print run was a leap of faith. I had to trust that people would support me to achieve something for a greater purpose than myself. This is when the journey began and along the way, I conquered some childhood traumas. It’s no secret! We’ve all heard the term, used the term, and at times embodied the term- independent woman. We’ve worn it proudly on our chest, hands and feet. As a Black woman, I was raised with this as my theme song. We’re taught, don’t depend on anyone and do it all yourself; making things happen out of no way was an expectation. You’re not allowed to get exhausted, complain, and to ask for help meant you we’re begging and risk the chance of being called a gold digger. Coupled with childhood disappointments, heartbreaks, rejection and mistreatment, I adapted this notion as a way to protect myself; but it also made it hard for me to ask for help when I needed it. I learned it was emotionally dangerous to ask for help and be vulnerable. So, when my mentor suggested I run a Kickstarter, I cringed at the thought of asking people on a mass level for help. See, the entire concept of a Kickstarter is the total opposite of what my traumas’ personality led me to be. You have to be in the center a lot. Talk to people about what you’re doing, where you’ve been, where you’re trying to go and the scariest part …. ASK PEOPLE FOR HELP. This is called hyper-independence. There’s nothing wrong with doing things yourself, but when it gets to the point where we cannot ask for help even with little things, when we’re in need or when we’re struggling- it’s trauma lead. I was literally having anxiety about even texting people to ask for their address, let alone their support. I talked myself out of it at least 20 times …. Then it hit me, in the grand scheme of things, this wasn’t about me. I remembered; this was bigger than me. It’s about helping children and families foster better relationships. It’s about breaking generational curses, toxic environments, toxic cycles and healing. In my quest to help others, I now had to move past my own hurts, traumas, rejections and toxic cycles. My journey in writing children's books and launching a Kickstarter has moved me to another level of healing. Because I had to get comfortable with speaking about my story, taking constructive criticism, accepting rejection and most of all asking for help.
I've learned, it is okay to ask for help- it doesn’t make you weak - but strong.
To support our Kickstarter, go to www.sillylittlesquabbles.com and support by pre-ordeing our latest book!